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Posts Tagged ‘Identity’

There are no words for what we have seen in Japan in the past few days. How they will ever recover, I am not sure. We continually hear stories about waves of bodies washing up on shore, numbering in the thousands; possible meltdowns from nuclear plants disabled by the tsunami and earthquakes; no food, power, even water for nigh on four days.

It is staggering, and the rest of the world watches in horror. But I wonder- what do the Japanese watch with? Or can they even watch? They take this disaster and blame it on no one, immediately picking up the pieces before they have all been thrown onto the table and sorted. I often wonder, would America- if, knock on wood, were to be hit with such a disaster on such a scale- take it with such grace?

Here’s a helicopter video of the actual tsunami waves:

Here are satellite comparison images from NY Times- definitely worth the look.

Satellite Images NY Times

And last but not least, here is a video I found on the internet today. At first it seems like a small wave, and then it gets progressively worse, until entire houses are being swept inland.

I do urge you to donate what you are able, or do what you can (Samaritan’s Purse and Red Cross are great ways to do so.)¬† I don’t believe much in God, so I’m sending my love; but please, pray to whatever you do believe in, because hope is more than nothing at all.

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The staff meeting went well (: Even though there was some guy on his cell phone….but it’s whatever. It’s not quite as bad as the time I had a college interviewer on his phone during my interview. That was pretty awful. But to be honest, I enjoyed it. I love presenting, and feel as if I’m in my element when I’m teaching others. It’s definitely something I want to continue with when I go to college and wherever else beyond that.

Another thing- I’ve realized that I kind of dump my random thoughts into this blog, even if they don’t relate to P4P. I thought a thought today, so I’m going to share it. And it really, like the other thoughts I’ve shared, it has almost nothing to do with this fundraiser. But this was an intriguing thought, not an everyday-black-and-white-thought, so I figured I’d write about it.

I was sitting in a classroom on a desk, staring into the face of another kid sitting opposite me. I’m not quite sure why we were staring at each other, but we were. And I thought, “If I didn’t know I was me, then I could be her reflection and really not be me at all- but really be her. And I would never know it, because I’m her reflection.” And in that moment- that split second that I thought that- I was her. I thought like her, I moved like her, I honestly believed for a slight moment that I was her. It was unnerving, and I told them that- voiced my thoughts about being her reflection- and they laughed and told me to stop being weird, that I was just being “Kristina.” Like “being Kristina” was a verb of some sort, and not a very good one.

But it isn’t the first time that’s happened. That was more realistic because I was staring her right in the face, but it happens quite frequently on smaller scales. I’ll feel as if I’m someone else, and very rarely feel myself to be me. I’ll sit and take a graduation picture, and suddenly I’m my sister, two years before. I’ll sit in a desk in English class and I’m someone else; I walk through the halls and I’m yet again a different person. It’s almost as if I am a dress-up box and every day, my body decides who to be; and very rarely do I feel that it’s my own, singular self.

Is that weird? That I have problems identifying with my true self? Or is my true self an amalgam of other selves, and I have yet to realize it? Or is my purpose simply that, to be a reflection of everyone else in the world, and everyone else is a reflection of me? It was just an odd sensation, something I thought I might share. Probably a skew in perception, and nothing more, but. I found it to be intriguing (:

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